Number one, my fat mom. She looks something like this. If she were feeling fancy and could dig herself out of a pile of box wine. Cortisol levels are all fucked, she has terrible bronchitis so even attempting to loose the weight is not an option. This is not my future. I will kill myself first.
Two, I love acro yoga. I want to be able to do this. All doz bitches that do acro yoga ARE FINE AS HELL. OF COURSE I WILL GRAB YOUR ANKLES, HOT GIRL.
I FUCKING LOVE FOOD. Somewhere inside of me is a morbidly obese sexbot that will have sex and eat wagyu steak off of crying asian boys with flat ironed hair.
Beer has a fuck ton of calories. I am getting my Cicerone training. It will one day be my job to consume endless calories of delicious beer and talk about how awesome it is. 100000000000 calories.
THE END. NOW I NEED A WANK
GET IN MY BELLY, LA FIN DU MONDE.
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